Letting Go
by Lady Lauren
Summary: He wouldn’t allow her to be swept off her feet by some stranger that could hurt her. Even though that would be highly unlikely. So why hold back now? Isn’t she more important than his silly Britannian pride? In R2 set between the end of Turn 7 & 8.


**Description:** He wouldn't allow her to be swept off her feet by some stranger that could hurt her. Even though that would be highly unlikely. So why hold back now? Isn't she more important then his silly Britannian pride? In R2 set between the end of Turn 7 & 8.

Letting Go

"_Lelouch…about what happened at Shinjuku…" Kallen started hesitantly. Her head was bowed as she addressed the man before her._

_There was a silence between them, Kallen waiting for some kind of response from her leader. The two were standing in Zero's office, preparing to leave for the wedding reception being held for the Chinese empress. His mask was in his arms at the time._

"_I want to know why…" she looked at the back of his cape. She heard his clothes shuffle lightly._

"_We will not speak of that matter Kallen." He stated bluntly. She gasped at his response and glared at him. He raised his mask, ready to cover his face until Kallen quickly appeared in front of him and smacked it out of his hand where it crashed onto the floor._

"_What do you mean? Am I supposed to act like it never happened?" she began shouting at him. Lelouch stared at her calmly, planning to let her rant on without interruption._

"_Am I supposed to pretend you almost didn't…you almost didn't…" her voice trailed off as she looked down. Lelouch felt something heavy in the pit of his throat while he was staring at her vulnerable blue eyes. He wanted so badly to reach out to her and hold her long enough for her to realize that he truly was sorry for the way he acted._

"_Kallen I-" he tried to reply but she beat him to it._

"_Don't try to sweet talk your way out of this one Lelouch. You have no idea what the impact of your actions are, do you? You don't know how you effected me…emotionally." She sniffled and hugged herself tightly._

"_I believed that you were better than that. That we were better than that. But I guess you deceived me again just like before." She let her arms fall to her sides as she raised her head up with slight rage._

"_But I don't care anymore. Just tell me why. I won't let you pass until I get an answer." She blocked the door with her arms spread widely with an angry scowl on her face. _

_Lelouch stared at her incredulously silently waiting for her to drop her arms and step aside to let him pass. But he knew in his better judgment that Kallen would not budge an inch until he gave her the explanation he knew she deserved._

_In the inner depths of his mind, he was trying to find the words to say to her. He couldn't possibly admit to her that he, Zero, had fallen for his ace pilot. It would only cause problems between them and the rest of the Black Knights. Not only that but Kallen would be in even more potential danger than before._

_He couldn't let her know that every time she looks at him with those luminous blue eyes, his stomach does flips. Every time she calls his name, whether it be Lelouch or Zero, his heart beats a bit faster. And every time she smiles it just makes his life all the more worth living._

_He couldn't afford to let her see another weakness of his. She already knew his identity and how he acted when he wasn't Zero. She knew everything about him other than his affection for her._

_She was his Q-1 after all, the most powerful asset to his team. He couldn't let a few simple words alter the bond that they had established. But he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he didn't tell her and she were taken away from him. He wouldn't allow her to be swept off her feet by some stranger. That would be almost too painful. Like losing a part of you that is, under all circumstances, irreplaceable._

"_Kallen, you're being ridiculous. We must leave now." He tried to reason with her, only to receive an outburst._

"_I don't give a damn about where we have to go. Right now, this is the only thing that matters to me. Now please, answer me!" she shouted through clenched eyes, annoying tears sliding down her face. He was somewhat startled by her short tirade. He had no idea that what he 'almost' did would have this type of impact on her._

'_I'm sorry…Kallen.' He said to himself as his gaze lowered. A part of him felt horrible about his decision. A part of him wished that it never happened, that he never had that kind of opportunity. But there was another part of him wished Kallen hadn't of slapped him. That part of him was still longing for the feel of her lips on his. That part of him was yearning for the passion that only she could give him._

"_Do you know the significance of being known as Q-1?" he asked as he began walking over to her. She glared him and let her arms rest._

"_I told you, you're not going to trap me this time." She said with determination._

"_It means you are the most important person to me in this organization. Above anyone else." He continued. Kallen looked at him strangely._

"_You've already told me that." She responded._

"_Then you should already know the answer to your own question." By now, he was standing over her, looking into her eyes with his own. She swallowed, cautiously feeling for the doorknob behind her incase she felt the need to escape. But she couldn't get a grasp on it._

"_You never answer my questions. Even when we were back at Ashford. You always twisted your words around to get the attention off you. I'm sick of it." Her gaze dropped. Lelouch raised his hand and placed it under her chin like he had done before. Again he noticed to that look in her eyes. She was scared, anxious, tired, but vulnerable. Could he really do it this time? He couldn't keep her in the dark any longer. After all, isn't Kallen more important than his silly Britannian pride anyway?_

"_Then I'll answer this one." He said as he leaned in to kiss her, just like before. He felt her tense up and sensed her readying her hand to strike him, but he held her arm in place before she could retaliate. In one final motion, he had closed the distance between them and kissed her lightly._

_Kallen's eyes widened. At first her body had frozen but she soon got used to the feel on his lips on her and relaxed her muscles, letting him hold the arm she was going to use to stop him. Soon his arms had slipped around her slim waist and she found herself wrapped tightly in his arms as the lip-lock continued._

_Once he pulled back he immediately hugged her tightly against his own body. He held her as if his life depended on it. As if she were more important to him than life itself, at the moment. As if they were the only two people standing there in the world._

"…_Aishiteru…Kallen Kouzuki…"_

**A/N:** Hey! This is my very first story so please tell me what you think and don't hesitant to critique or whatever. Thanks for reading! =)

Lady Lauren


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